Stealing Your Own Joy

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(For clarification, I’m talking about JOY, not FUN. Joy is within us and fun is external stimulation, IMO.)

I’ve realized in recent months how much I suppress my own joy. Not knowingly, I was creating false barriers to this joy.

Yesterday morning, I was thinking about this. I was thinking about how much fun I always have when we get new chickens. It’s fun to pick them out, name them, and see them at home with us. Then it wears off because you have to feed and water these messy little girls until they are big enough to be outside with larger containers in larger spaces. That’s the not so fun part.

I like getting them. I don’t like it after so much.

The crazy part of me having this thought yesterday was that we, unfortunately, lost one of our favorite chickens, Sunshine (or Funshine as my son would say). She died from the heat, we think. About a month ago, we had a rooster that we had to rehome. That means we lost two chickens in a short-time and that, of course, brings up the idea of getting more chicks, haha.

Real reasons I’ve avoided my own joy:

  • It costs money to buy things I want

  • I don’t like the ingredients, they are too toxic and I can’t find a clean alternative

  • I won’t sacrifice the time

  • I research the heck of it (let’s be honest, I researched it to death) and then get lost and overwhelmed in the options

  • If it was food, I didn’t want the carbs or sugar

But recently, I began to feel joy someplace I kinda had been longing for a while: make-up.

I wear only clean and organic if possible makeup. I avoided MANY ingredients bc I don’t believe them to be safe. After my most recent baby arrived, I have wanted to feel a little more put together and fresh. I had a concealer from Bare Minerals, but hated the ingredients. On a whim while makeup was 20% off, I put in a large order for new basics from Poofy Organics. I got concealer, mascara, lipstick, and 2 eye shadows. I already have a really nice peach bronzer and a face powder, too, from Primal Life Organics. So between all this, I finally have a nice little set of make-up. And you know what? I love wearing it!

I haven’t worn makeup daily like this for 8 years?!

I am so glad I ordered it. I feel fresh and a little more of the best version of me. That $100 I spent gave me back way more than what I spent on it. It made me realize how I liked feeling pretty (something no one talks about). I got such joy from this purchase.

I’m now being way more aware of what I want and not dismissing it so fast because of any of the reasons I noted above. Not everything can be had when we want it, but certainly, I can give myself more than I have been.

Shine on, my sisters. xo